Monday, May 24, 2010

Jealousy, a definition and story

Being jealous for me is normal even though it is defined as a negative feeling of insecurity or anxiety towards a nearing loss of someone you valued. This is feeling is usually related to human relationship which may start when we are still young. According to an article I read, jealousy is composed of a jealous individual, a partner and third party who means that it involves three people and the reaction is usually related to the feeling of being threatened. This feeling involves aversive emotions and/or protective behaviors coming from the jealous individual.

I had felt this feeling several times, but I learned to manage it because experienced taught me how to cope up. It is not easy at first to accept that you are jealous, because you do have this pride of saying “Haleer, bakit ako magseselos, sino ba siya?” but deep inside you are saying “Paksheet naman oh, ano bang meron ako ng wala siya?”. This is a fact, because I for once had experienced saying those words. I would like to share a recent experience that I encountered, but I will not mention names to protect these people (ang mag-react guilty, ang tumanggap winner!). I would like to use some code names so at least I will not over use the word guy and I will share my story in Filipino so it will more enjoyable to read! Here are the cast:

Pilipinas – isa siyang echusero                Violet – Bago lang sa cyber world
Fitness – Ang dakilang pinagselosan        Kumander – Ang nagselos

Linggo ng gabi, walang magawa ang apat na cast kundi ang mag Twitter.

Echusero: “Bakit mo pinalitan ang profile picture mo?”
Fitness. “Kasi hindi bagay, mas gusto ko itong isang picture.”
Violet: “Wala naman akong napansing pagbabago, nagpalit ka ba ng picture?
Echusero:“Ay, oo kanina nag palit siya ng picture.”
Violet: “Patingin naman ng picture mo kanina?”
Fitness: “Nakita mo na?”
Violet: “Hey, already seen it. Cute guy and nice body talaga. Keep up!”
Echusero: “Uy Violet, ano tingin mo kay Fitness? Panalo ba?”
Violet: “I appreciate Fitness’s body and looks. Yun lang ang press release ko wala ng iba.”
Kumander: “Ayoko sa lahat ang mang-aagaw!” (Eksena toh, sorry no pansin!)
Violet: “Hey Fitness meron ka bang Churvabook account?” (Kiver talaga oh!)
Kumander: “Wala siyang CB, Twitter account lang” (Ito ang like factor ko! Kabog!))
Fitness: “Wala eh, binura ko na last November!”.
Violet: “The night is falling fast. And maybe being "ECHUSERO" is not my personality as well. Just felt something like a clash inside this cyber world.” (Syempre hindi siya manhid para hindi makaramdam!)
Kumander: “Nawalan na ako ng gana mag tweet will wait for Fitness”
Fitness: “GOT to GO, may problem ata kami ngayon.”

Ilang oras ang nakalipas, walang reaction na nangagaling mula kay Violet o kay Echusero. Hindi mawari ang pakiramdam ni Echusero dahil busy siya that time, pero si Violet, alam niya ang dahilan. As you can read, Kumander is jealous of Violet which was aggravated by the questions of Echusero which Fitness is not aware because this is just a normal conversation. Violet had been very objective in this case, there are different conversation that is happening aside from this but he keeps his mouth shut because he feels that someone is hurting. After several hours, he asked Kumander again to confirm his feelings and yes it is true, he was jealous of Violet.

We really cannot determine on why Kumander is jealous of Violet and Violet is not interested of knowing the reasons because it does not make any sense. I do believe that Violet had been very sensitive in this issue, he fairly understand that Kumander likes Fitness so much and Violet impost as a threat to that relationship. This will also fit to our definition that it involves 3 person (Kumander, Fitness and Violet) and it feels to be threatened (which in this case in the human relationship). The only advise that I can give, relationship should be built in trust and from this trust everything will be okay. Jealousy is good but if it reaches a certain level it will eat you up as hell. Be very transparent and learn to talk because communication will also be a good part of a lasting relationship! Kudos guys, comments please!

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